


Not Dying Isn't the Same As Living

by lamerezouille



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Epistolary, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-18
Updated: 2014-07-18
Packaged: 2018-02-09 10:05:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1978764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamerezouille/pseuds/lamerezouille
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A letter from Leon to Merlin, from one immortal being to an other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Dying Isn't the Same As Living

My dear Merlin,

I hope immortality is treating you well. It's been years since we last saw each other, but what's years for us? It certainly barely feels like days to me.

Are you still waiting for Arthur? I know him being the Once and Future King is the whole reason you became immortal in the first place, but sometimes I worry for you, my old friend. I myself never had a choice in my fate: it was taken away from me a long time ago, when the druids decided to make me drink from this dammed cup. And although I've made my peace with it a long time ago, I think I’ve always envied you in some way.

I’ve first envied your ability to die if you wanted to, this power you had and that I had not, this power I in my darkest nights craved with my whole self. But I've accepted what I cannot change, and it was your _purpose_ after that, that I admired and wished I possessed the most. The fact that day after day, you _knew_ why you were alive, and what to do with your unending life... Even amongst mortals, this is a cherished trait. And whilst you were waiting for your king, for Arthur, I was not waiting for anything at all.

I'd been cut off of the world lamenting about my immortality, that I'd forgotten that not dying meant I was supposed to live. I tried to learn more about how the world was faring, then; I tried to learn about humankind, so that I could try and be part of it again.

So I started reading. I read a lot in a relatively short time: fiction and poetry and philosophical essays, and that was when I discovered an advice that changed my life: We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.

It doesn't need to be dancing per se, but doing something insignificant, something that gives you joy and that serves no other function at all: doing something like this every day... I think that's how you can be immortal and still _live_.

I don't want to force you to do anything of course, but I beg you from all my heart, Merlin, try and think about it. I know how it can be, waiting for something without ever knowing if it's going to happen, so even if you don't want to die, try to live, my dear friend.

I've been dancing every day, Merlin. You should give it a try.

Your friend, Leon.


End file.
